Slow Burn Marketing Blog

Expect A Little Less

hotpoints — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 11:52:49 +0000

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

How powerful is radio really?

Perhaps too powerful for its own good.

Yes, that might sound like an odd thing to say.

But is there any other medium where new advertisers expect so much–too much, in fact, and in too little time.

How many new radio advertisers become apoplectic when, on day three of their new campaign, customers aren’t flocking through the door or the phone isn’t ringing off the hook?

Yet, these same advertisers don’t impose such ridiculous expectations on their print ads, billboards or other media.

Imagine a Yellow Pages rep getting a call like this: “The new book hit yesterday, and people aren’t flocking into my store. What gives?”

RADIO OCCUPIES A PLACE OF TREMENDOUS PROMINENCE IN THE AMERICAN PSYCHE

This is the only possible explanation for this incredible expectation of performance–despite the fact radio probably costs these advertisers less than their other media.

One of the single best accounts it’s been my pleasure to work on has achieved such glorious status because the man who handles the account has successfully beaten down unrealistic expectations at every opportunity.

The advertiser is a family-owned appliance superstore that previously been discussed in these marketing missives.

When creating his advertising, the only marching order was this: every commercial MUST mention the family dog, who’s always in the store.

So, rather than make the dog an afterthought (which had been how he was handled previously), we made the dog the central player in these commercials. At least that way, there was a reason for him to be mentioned.

For months after the launch of this new campaign, the guy who handles this account would get complaints from the client.

“How can I tell it’s working? I can’t tell the radio’s working.”

To which he replied…

“SO WHAT?”

He would counter, “How do you know your billboards are working? How do you know your print ads are working?”

He would throw it right back at the client, pointing out the double standard he was imposing for radio.

Basically, you know it’s working when business improves.

You don’t count on every customer walking into the store raving about your radio commercials.

You have faith that, if everything’s being done correctly, it will work.

You don’t suddenly demand that one medium be responsible for your accounting in a way no other medium is.

IMHO, this is proof of the power of radio.

It’s so significant in the minds of average Americans that they imagine it as a champion, a panacea, a silver bullet, a magic lamp of advertising containing a response genie who makes their wildest dreams of advertising performance come alive.

THERE IS NO RESPONSE GENIE, MY FRIENDS

All there is, is faith in the medium and the person selling it.

The appliance store we were just talking about did something really admirable.

The advertiser listened to his consultant and didn’t panic when he couldn’t track the results from radio in a way inconsistent with his other media.

All he did was continue running the advertising.

And something funny happened about six months into his radio campaign.

He told us how well the radio was doing.

See, his dog had become a central player in the message.

And radio was the only medium featuring the dog.

So, what was happening was new customers had begun coming into the store and asking not for washers and dryers and refrigerators and ranges.

They began coming into the store asking for the dog.

Once they’d seen the dog and were through playing with him, THEN they began shopping for appliances.

As the client said, “That dog owns this store.”

HIS RADIO ADVERTISING BECAME A JUGGERNAUT

It was utterly unstoppable–all because he was willing to beat down his unrealistic expectations and listen to his marketing pro.

He stopped imposing a double standard.

He didn’t become obsessed with the power of the medium over the power of patience.

And the result is a campaign so powerful, he’s changed all his other advertising to be consistent with the radio.

Great expectations are fine.

Unrealistic expectations will kill the goose that lays the golden egg while it’s still a gosling.

As always,

Blaine Parker
Your Short, Fat Creative Director in
Park City

SUPER BOWL OF IGNORANCE

hotpoints — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:55:08 +0000

HAVE FREQUENCY–OR YOU HAVE NOTHING

This is a perennial challenge in the radio business: new advertisers who know just enough to be dangerous to themselves (and by extension, to us).

These newbies have heard one nugget of information, and all of a sudden they’re experts in radio.

They are going to put their spots in drive time.

After all, drive time is THE time.

It’s the time where everyone lives or dies.

It’s the time where more people are listening than any other time.

So the new advertiser is bound & determined to be there.

Of course, they don’t have enough money to be there.

They can afford only one spot in drive time.

But they’re gonna do it!

AND THEY’RE GONNA DIE ON THE VINE

It’s interesting how, no matter what you say to them, they’re convinced drive time–especially morning drive–is the holy grail of radio advertising.

Trying to sell them frequency makes no sense to them.

Explain to them that the way to success is to have the same audience hear your commercial repeatedly, and they glaze over.

Explain to them that a message must be heard frequently to be successful, and they place their hands over their ears and chant “Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah I can’t hear you nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!”

Why is this?

My theory: the small business owner mindset.

They’ve had to do everything themselves.

They’ve had to do it their way.

Their way is now the only way.

So, by extension, the only way to do radio is their way.

Doesn’t matter they’ve never done it before.

Since they’re experts in their own business, they’re experts in our business because it’s about advertising their business.

IT’S ALL ABOUT OWNERSHIP–BUT THEY’RE TRYING TO OWN THE WRONG THING

They want desperately to own the IDEA of cashing in with drive time.

This is not about owning the dream.

This is about owning the audience.

You can’t own a drive time audience with one spot during three hours.

There are some stations where, for the price of one spot in morning drive, you could buy dozens of spots in the wee hours of the morning.

There are people there. They listen to the radio. They’re loyal at 3am.

And they’ll be loyal to an advertiser who says the right thing. It’s been done. We can prove it.

At some stations, for the price of one spot in morning drive, you can have three spots in midday.

All of a sudden, the new advertiser is much closer to owning that midday audience than if he had that one commercial disappearing into the recesses of morning drive.

“BUT THE AUDIENCE IS SMALLER!”

Yes, they are.

And they’re also easier to win over, because an advertiser with a small budget can afford to speak to them frequently.

Think about the biggest audience in broadcast advertising: The Super Bowl.

Think back to the dot com boom, when all these Silicon Valley start-ups were throwing tons of money into Super Bowl advertising.

There was one commercial for some long gone bust dot com where they spent the millions required to enter the Super Bowl advertising arena, and presented a low-grade video production with a guy holding a hand-lettered sign. That’s how much the message cost them to place: they couldn’t afford to actually produce a real commercial because they threw all the money away trying to reach the huge audience.

It did nothing for them. They are gone and forgotten.

E*Trade has made tremendous fun of these dot com idiots. They have one commercial where the monkey rides a horse through a ghost town past the corpses of business like tieclasp dot com and esocks dot com and pimentoloaf dot com.

There’s another commercial with two idiots sitting in a garage on lawn chairs, clapping to a cha-cha while the monkey dances on top of a spackle bucket.

The music stops and so does the dancing.

A title comes up: “Well, we just wasted $2 million. What are you doing with your money?”

This is a tremendously important little message for anyone who insists on trying to reach an audience that’s too big for their budget.

E*Trade can afford to go to the Super Bowl and make fun of people who make stupid investments because they are a giant.

People who are not giants cannot afford to play on the same field.

If you can’t afford the Super Bowl, don’t buy the Super Bowl.

Super Bowl advertisers already have frequency. They can advertise in the Super Bowl because they’re big enough and well-known enough to make it work.

My biggest client is big because he buys frequency.

He’s not big because he insists on being in the Super Bowl of morning drive.

SMALL IS BEAUTIFUL IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO REACH THEM ALL

What do we do about these know-it-all advertisers?

I’ve said this before and I will say it again (and it will be met with anger and indignation): refuse to take their money.

If business is so bad that it’s necessary to accept the pittance of one advertiser who’s destined to fail, what good are we doing for anyone? It’s time to get out and sell Mary Kay–which is presently more of a growth business than radio.

But again, I assert: telling an advertiser you won’t take his money is sales judo.

It throws him off balance. He doesn’t know what to do with it. And as he’s picking himself up off the floor, he’s realizing he’s working with a different kind of salesman.

Because he’s being pushed away, he’s experiencing a polarity response.

He’s never been told “No” before, and he realizes that you’re serious about doing what’s right.

And then, a whole new dialogue begins.

And the dialogue centers around the smartest thing to do with his ad budget.

As always,

Blaine Parker
Your Short, Fat Creative Director in
Park City

LEARNING FROM THE MAJOR MARKETS

hotpoints — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:29:02 +0000

WHAT YOU CAN LEARN ABOUT ADVERTISING IN THE BIG CITY

You’re about to learn one of the biggest secrets of big market radio advertising you cold possibly imagine.

You’re going to be astounded.

You’re about to see a piece of copy that came out of a popular radio station one of the biggest single radio markets in America.

Are you ready?

Is there something about your smile that you wish you could change?
Is the price of consultation at most dentists enough to keep you from
making that first appointment? At Big City Smile Makers the consultation
is free. From braces to Invisalign or even cosmetic dentistry, call Big City
Smile Makers at 555-555-1212 or visit them online at www big city smile
makers dot com. They even offer professional smile whitening for as little
a $99. Big City Smile Makers at 555-555-1212. Big City Smile Makers.
Dentistry for your lifestyle.

Wow. Can you believe that?

Doesn’t that just make your heat go all aflutter?

Aren’t you ready to rush out for cosmetic dentistry?

Aren’t you filled with utter amazement at the compassion and caring of this dentist?

If only you could have heard how the announcer in this commercial launches himself out of the radio at the listener with no understanding or finesse.

What’s the lesson we learn from this copy?

IF THIS IS MAJOR MARKET RADIO COMMERCIAL COPY, THIS INDUSTRY IS IN DIRE STRAITS

Why on earth is it so difficult for radio stations to understand that the lifeblood of their revenue is advertisers made successful through competent advertising?

Successful advertising requires at least competent ad copy.

If it’s not on the page, it’s not on the air.

I’m sorry if you’re a radio account executive or a sales manager, and you and your people are good at what they do.

I don’t want to tar and feather you along with the transgressors.

Some of the finest radio advertising in America comes out of some of the smallest markets. Having judged the Radio And Production Magazine RAP Awards for several years now, I can attest to this.

But it continues to be a source of amazement for me that people who work in radio in the nation’s largest radio market (or the nation’s #2 radio market, depending on the statistics to which you subscribe) still create some of the most limp and uninspired copy anywhere.

Now, small markets, you’re not off the hook here. Just because I’ve sung the praises of the people at the tip of your iceberg, don’t think for a second that there isn’t a plethora of pointlessness happening right there in your happy hamlets.

I’m not here to besmirch the literacy of and wordsmithing of account reps (who, sad but true, often end up writing the copy).

I’m here to ask why anyone in radio continues to extrude plastic ad copy that bounces off listeners.

After all, if you’re an account rep, you’re also a human being who listens to radio. What sells you?

In a million years, would the person who wrote that commercial HEAR that same commercial and think, Wow, I need some dentistry for my lifestyle. Maybe I’ll rush to the phone and call 555-555-1212 because there IS something about my smile I wish I could change. But the price of that consultation has always been enough to keep me from making that first appointment.

PULLING THE WOOL OVER YOUR OWN EYES IS BAD

I don’t know what the psychology is here that lets you, but I have an idea.

People think that because they are suddenly putting on a writer’s hat, they have to step out of their human suit.

Folks, doesn’t matter what hat we’re wearing.

We’re still humans talking to humans.

We all have distractions, preoccupations, emotions, insecurities and everything else that goes along with the day-to-day baggage of living life.

Which means, if we expect ANYONE out there listening to the radio to pay attention to us, and to buy into the argument we’re making for an advertiser, we need to DESERVE THEIR ATTENTION.

And speaking to them in pointless blather isn’t going to do it.

IF OUR COMMERCIALS SOUND LIKE WE DON’T KNOW AND WE DON’T CARE-NOBODY WILL KNOW OR CARE

Who’s the target prospect for this message?

Somebody with a smile challenge.

What’s their problem?

I don’t know.

Let’s say they’re snaggle-toothed.

They hate to smile because their teeth are pointing all over the place.

So the listener wants a smile fixed.

So the REAL problem is fear. The problem is emotional pain. The problem is expense. The problem is distrust of dentists.

The problem is NOT the price of consultation.

How does Big City Smile Makers solve this problem? How are they better?

I have no idea.

I didn’t interview the client, who should’ve been asked this question.

But let’s pretend…

Big City Smile Makers is run by Dennis Schmather.

Boy, that last name doesn’t help us. Would he sound more approachable as Dr. Dennis? Sure he would.

Dr. Dennis is an expert at straightening adult teeth.

He knows no adult wants a mouth full of metal.

That’s why he’s a huge proponent of Invisalign, which mitigates the problems of being a grownup with braces by using a clear, removable product.

Dr. Dennis is an expert at Inviaslign, and he possess a delicate touch like no other man. In fact, he even has tiny hands. You barely know he’s in your mouth.

Now, we have only 30 seconds get this point across.

Can it be done?

OF COURSE IT CAN BE DONE-THINK ABOUT USING AN ELEVATOR PITCH

What can you say in 30 seconds that’s going to make your prospect want to know more?

Try this…

The joy. The glee. Everything that goes with a good, hearty laugh
and a big broad smile. Want to feel it again? Want to stop covering
your mouth when you smile? At Big City Smile Makers, Dr. Dennis is
a friendly expert with a magic touch, Dr. Dennis specializes in Invisalign-
with payment plans-for working adults. These transparent, removable
braces are clearly better-and bring back the thrill of a joyful smile. For
a free consultation, with hours to fit your schedule, call 555-555-1212.
555-555-1212. Get back the grin. Big City Smile Makers.

Is this going to win an award?

Not on your life.

It’s not even particularly expert.

What it is-is competent.

It defines the prospect’s PROBLEM.

It offers a solution with a DIFFERENCE.

This is key. Every advertiser needs a DIFFERENCE.

This guy’s difference is his magic touch and his specialization in the product for working adults.

And there’s an emotional component: HOW YOU FEEL about your smile.

We let people know payment plans are available so they can defer the pain.

Notice there’s no URL because the website cannot close his prospects.

The phone number comes only at the end of the spot, after the sales pitch is complete.

The phone number is said twice in a row, to reinforce memorability as people try to write it down.

And the last thing anyone hears is the advertiser’s name. Last item heard is the first item remembered.

There’s no reason-NO REASON-an account rep in the single largest radio market in God’s universe (or maybe the second largest market in the universe, depending on which statistics and which God you believe in) shouldn’t be able to write that commercial.

FOR MORE THAN A DECADE, I HAVE SPENT EVERY SINGLE DAY, WRITING ADVERTISING AND LOOKING FOR WAYS TO RAISE THE BAR

That’s how I have dozens of radio advertising awards and write things in ways most people will never write.

Winning awards is not the goal.

That piece of copy took about 15 minutes to write. It took three minutes to whip out 115 words.

It took another 12 minutes to tweak it down to 94 words.

Which means no matter who the account rep is, unless he or she is sub-literate, he or she is capable of doing something equally competent in a half hour to 45 minutes.

It’s not WRITING.

It’s getting out of the way, of yourself and SELLING with words.

It’s no different than making a sales pitch to a potential client. Instead now, the sales pitch is being made to the client’s prospect.

Based on what we read earlier, anyone can easily do major market copywriting.

Now, if everyone could just implement competent copywriting, how much better would our industry be?

Don’t write it, friends. SELL it. Honestly, with insight and emotion.

WILL FRED & ETHEL DESTROY YOUR ADVERTISING?

hotpoints — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 03:44:23 +0000

Honey and I have been discussing the inevitable destruction of good advertising by clients who allow F&E to rule.

F&E.

Fear and Ego.

Or, as I’ve recently dubbed them, Fred & Ethel.

Why the names?

They are destructive entities.

As abstract concepts, they are agents of change. Bad change. Destructive change. Ignorant change.

Fear & Ego are fools who deserve our contempt.

So they now have names.

Yes, they have the names of a couple from a 1950s TV sitcom.

No disrespect to Vivian Vance and William Frawley (who apparently couldn’t stand each other), but Fred & Ethel were fools.

As are Fear & Ego.

So, what are Fred & Ethel all about?

THE STORY TYPICALLY GOES LIKE THIS…

A copywriter has a meeting with the client and learns all about the client’s business.

Under the best of circumstances, the copywriter goes and experiences the client’s business.

The best copywriter will become the client’s customer.

Then, he ends up creating really good advertising. Maybe not award-winning, but emotionally evocative.

Advertising that captures the essence of the client’s brand and conveys it to the audience in a way designed to capture hearts and minds.

Then the advertising goes out for approval.

Next…

FRED & ETHEL KILL WHAT’S GOOD TO SATISFY THEMSELVES

Fear rears its ugly head and says to the advertiser, “No, no, no. We can’t say THAT. That’s too different. It doesn’t sound like a commercial.”

Fear wants to play it safe. Fred wants to go to school dressed like all the other kids-despite the fact that all the other kids are an ignorant, unworldly mess trying to grope their way through life and figure things out.

But because the message doesn’t sound like all the other garbage on the air, Fear has decided it is wrong and must change to conform.

“They won’t understand what we’re about. They won’t understand how we do business. They’ll think we’re different. We don’t want to be different.”

And ultimately, Fear has its way. It destroys advertising that could have done great and beautiful things.

Ego, well…

Ego is even worse then fear.

Ethel gets in there and starts throwing her weight around.

“It doesn’t say how many years we’ve been in business. It doesn’t talk about the size of our inventory. It doesn’t say how we’re family owned. It isn’t all about ME!”

Ego is an infant demanding attention.

Ethel refuses to recognize that the advertisement is not about her, but about her customer.

Ethel forsakes the customer experience and demands the message be injected with prideful bullet points that influence nobody except possibly her mother.

FRED & ETHEL ARE LOATHSOME

As advertising people, we give everything we’ve got to give when it comes to building butterflies for our clients.

Unfortunately, many clients, ignorant of anything to do with good advertising, squash the butterflies and demand caterpillars in return.

Caterpillars are functional. They are the ingredients that become butterflies.

Butterflies are light and delicate, inspirational and engaging.

Advertisers are often blind to the difference.

They need education. They need to know why something is good when Fred & Ethel insist differently.

They need a courageous guide.

They need advertising professionals who know the difference and don’t let them shoot themselves in the foot as they shoot the wings off the butterfly.

It’s very easy to destroy something good. Fear & Ego make it so.

But it’s not easy to build something good.

Just as good advertising needs protection from Fred & Ethel, advertisers need to be protected from themselves.

You are presumably reading this because you are a professional persuader.

How are your powers of persuasion when it comes to protecting clients from Fred & Ethel?

As always,

Blaine Parker

Your Short, Fat Creative Director

in Park City

Failure Is The Only Option

hotpoints — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 11:57:54 +0000

SOME PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS FAIL

Sad but true.

There are people out there for whom advertising is always going to be a failure–no matter how good it is.

This comment is born of a recent incredulity.

You know that lately, I’ve been harping on being more valuable to clients in these challenging times. Suggesting promotions and other ways to get customers to their businesses is a way to keep their ad dollars coming.

Recently, it was impressive to see a fairly new account rep really getting aggressive and kicking it out.

She had a client with one of those offers that is calculated to do one thing: make the phone ring.

THE DENTIST WAS OFFERING $1,000 OFF THE REGULAR PRICE FOR IMPLANTS

For real.

He advertised $1,000 off the regular price on dental implants-with financing available.

His phone rang like crazy.

And by his own admission, his puny little $5,000 schedule netted him $80,000 in new business.

And he canceled his contract.

My very calm and relaxed question to the account rep was…

“BY ALL THAT IS HOLY, WHY ON EARTH!!!!?”

His reason was very simple.

“Radio didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped it would.”

What?!

A 1,600% return on a $5,000 schedule didn’t work out as well as he’d hoped?

That’s like Roger Bannister saying, “You know, I ran the mile in 3.94 seconds. I was really hoping to do it in two seconds. I’m giving up running.”

So many new client have unrealistic expectations of their advertising–and they cancel because after two weeks they haven’t seen ANY return on their investment.

How does a guy who generates 10 times his investment in less than a month say it’s not working?

I have a theory.

HE NEVER INTENDED TO BE IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL

My suspicion is he knew coming in that he was going to be a flash in the pan.

And flash in the pan advertising is OK.

It’s certainly not ideal. We’d all like to see aggressive brand building over aggressive offers. It’s a much healthier way to go.

I once did a fun, engaging commercial for an air conditioning advertiser who claimed 2,000% ROI in two weeks of advertising and walked away for good, thanking us with a hearty pat on the back.

If all you want is short-term results, have at it.

Just don’t treat us like morons when you get 1,600% back on your money. It’ll reflect much better on you, and we’ll all enjoy bragging about you that much more.

As always,

Blaine Parker

Your Short, Fat Creative Director in

Park City

WHAT REALLY IS THE PRICE OF FREE?

hotpoints — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 17:43:58 +0000

We’ve all seen it: the advertiser who’s afraid to give anything away for free. Somehow, it’s beneath him. Or it’s too costly. Or it will taint his image.

And yes, maybe there are times where this is true. But more frequently, the advertiser is missing out on one of the single best ways to advertise his business cost effectively.

GRAND SLAM GIVEAWAY

Denny’s has just done a huge national promotion. You probably know about it. The Grand Slam Breakfast giveaway last Tuesday. An estimated 2 million people turned out for a free breakfast that normally would’ve cost them six bucks.

Many of these people waited hours.

So, let’s do the math. 2500 restaurants. 2 million people. 6 bucks per breakfast. That’s a 12-million dollar retail value just given away. Divided by 2500 outlets, that’s $4800 per store. That’s not cost, mind you, just retail value. It’s hard to know the margin on a grand slam breakfast—and when the chain is planning to give away millions of the things, you know they were buying in bulk.

So, for sake of argument, let’s say that any margin they would’ve made is eaten up operating costs. Say it cost each restaurant $5,000. (Granted, this does not count advertising costs. But then again, most people taking advantage of the promotion will buy beverages, which have a huge margin. So we’re going to keep this simple.)

Does $5,000 seem like a reasonable price to pay to get 800 customers into your business on one day? And let’s say only 10% of them have never been to Denny’s before. But now that they’ve had a free breakfast, they’re believers. How long will it take 80 new customers to put $5,000 back into the business? At 62 bucks a head—especially if many of them have families—it won’t take long.

More importantly, the amount of goodwill generated by the giveaway is far beyond the cost of trying to generate the same amount of goodwill through advertising.

For the price of a free breakfast, Denny’s has potentially created or re-energized 2 million Denny’s evangelists. The people who went will be talking about their monstrous breakfast 9which is already affordable at 6 bucks), their experience standing in line, and maybe even about being on the evening news. And guaranteed, Denny’s ended up on the evening news everywhere.

How many people sat there, watching the news, realizing they missed a good thing and now have a Grand Slam Breakfast on their mind?

There is a vast and un-measurable value in what Denny’s has done. It extends well beyond the cost of promoting a free breakfast. No advertising is more powerful than the word of mouth generated by this promotion.

ONE OF THE LEAST EXPENSIVE, HIGHEST VALUE PROMOTIONS AROUND

We’ve recently been talking with someone about marketing a new business venture. It’s a chain of fast casual dining restaurants. And since Chipotle is considered an example of the competition, we’ve been looking at Chipotle’s marketing.

Apparently, when Chipotle went into New York, they kicked off with a promotion to give away 6,000 burritos.

Now, you could saturate the airwaves with radio and TV advertising, talking g about your new store opening. It would cost tens of thousands.

Or, you could buy much smaller advertising schedules, send out some press releases, and give away 6,000 burritos.

People are attracted to free stuff like iron filings to an electromagnet.

And those 6,000 people who got free burritos were suddenly evangelists for the Chipotle brand.

How many of those 6,000 people are now dragging three of their friends into Chipotle?

Let’s say half of them return and bring three friends, that’s 9,000 more new customers.

And each of those 9,000 then evangelizes the brand his or her friends.

Geometric progression is a beautiful thing. It’s what has made millions and millions of dollars for thousands of network marketers. It’s what made untold millions for Albert Madoff before he finally got caught. It’s like a Ponzi scheme only better—because it’s legal and it actually works and you don’t have to invite your friends over to your house for a meeting that you won’t explain until they’re in your living room.

OK, CHIPOTLE AND DENNY’S ARE GREAT—BUT WHAT ABOUT MY BUSINESS?

This model is entirely adaptable to economies of scale.

When I was VP of Marketing for a small, homemade ice cream company in South Miami Beach, we gave away a ton of ice cream. It went a long way towards building our customer base.

Roy Williams took the free ice cream model a step further. He apparently had a guy call him up saying he wanted to do radio, and had $8,000. Since it was way too small a budget, Roy gave him some free advice, which went something like this: buy one day’s worth of spots on the biggest station in town. Buy three spots an hour from 8 to 6. Tell people you’re giving away free ice cream, no strings attached.

It cost that ice cream store considerably less than $8,000 and netted them hundreds of new customers—all in one day. And each of those new customers will go back to where they had the free ice cream because they enjoyed the experience, and they’ll bring their friends and family.

And lest we forget, people who get free food often want drink—which is not free and is very profitable.

In tough times when people are complaining about slow business, it’s time to think aggressively. And giving away free stuff is just one viable strategy as long as the promotion can create brand evangelists.

Never underestimate the value of creating an evangelist. Probably half the testimonial commercials we’ve created are stories told by people who were referred to the business by a friend.

Free stuff leads to people who want to trumpet your brand.

As always,

Blaine Parker

Your Short, Fat Creative Director in

Park City

WHO REALLY WON THE SUPER BOWL?

hotpoints — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:47:46 +0000

Let’s face it: everyone was really there for the commercials. (In the fourth quarter, I had to point out to one woman in our party that the score of the game was on the bottom of the screen. She was there for the commercials.)

And in the arena of creative, laugh-making commercials, there were definitely some viable contenders. (The first Doritos commercial was among our faves, as was the spot for careerbuilder.com.)

But who really had the most salient sales message out there? Who was really most likely to see new business off their $3 million Super Bowl 43 spot buys?

FOR MY MONEY? HYUNDAI LED THE PACK

Never thought I’d hear myself say that.

But Hyundai has actually done something that can easily be considered strategic and relevant in these difficult times: they have made an offer that should appeal to people who are holding back because of the economy.

The campaign is “Assurance: certainty in uncertain times.” They were actually running these commercials prior to the Super Bowl, at least locally.

If you buy a Hyundai, and within the next year you lose your income, they’ll let you return the car.

Wow.

That’s kind of a smokin’ deal.

The company that introduced America’s best auto warranty 10 years ago now has your back. (To paraphrase from the company’s own copy.)

OK. BUT DOES THAT REALLY MAKE ME *WANT* A HYUNDAI?

Dunno. Probably not.

That job was left to a couple of other commercials

One was footage of a Hyundai sports coupe, driving all out on a closed track, making the car very sexy and desirable, as edited by someone who is presumably not a professional–and who is, with any luck, not going to have to return his Hyundai in the next year. Then, Hyundai invites you to edit your own version of the commercial.

The other Hyundai commercial is of Lexus executives screaming at their people in Japanese, and BMW doing likewise in German, because Hyundai vehicles have ostensibly received higher ratings.

The way things are going, maybe those BMW and Lexus executives are going to have to return their company cars in a year. At the very least, those corporate jets might end up in the backyard on blocks.

I HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED MYSELF A HYUNDAI CUSTOMER

After seeing these commercials, I’d actually give the car a second look.

And if I were in a more precarious career situation, I might be attracted by the Assurance pitch.

Now, this isn’t to say that some other, bigger companies advertising in the Super Bowl didn’t do well. There were still some good, funny, solid messages.

But Hyundai has done something our clients, the small business owners, should take to heart.

THEY HAVE COME UP WITH A POWERFUL AND COMPETITIVE OFFER FOR OUR TIME

They’ve set themselves up to prove they want your business, and they mean business.

They have set themselves apart from the competition in a way that makes them rise up out of the landscape.

They’ve hurled down a gauntlet to their competitors.

Hyundai is going to sell some cars, most assuredly.

So, in tough times, what is your client doing besides complaining and grinding you on rates?

We’ve addressed this before: the proactive marketing consultant is going to bring the client ideas to make him competitive in this economy. He’s going to have ideas to attract customers.

What are you suggesting to your client that’s as brazen as Hyundai’s offer?

As Always,
Blaine Parker
Your Short, Fat Creative Director in
Park City

GET STICKY

hotpoints — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:32:40 +0000

Last weekend, my wife and I spent a lot of time talking about advertising. We were preparing a presentation for a group of speaking professionals and internet marketers. In the process, we spent time debating stickiness.

Something “sticky” is any component of an advertisement that sticks in people’s brains and won’t let go.

One of the stickiest ideas of our time is undoubtedly…

“WHERE’S THE BEEF?”

It entered the national lexicon.

It became a catch phrase for anyone, including politicians—not to mention that it sold enormous numbers of hamburgers.

It might even have saved Wendy’s at a time when the company made mistakes that compromised profitability.

Another high-profile example of sticky…

“YOU GOT YOUR CHOCOLATE ON MY PEANUT BUTTER.”

My wife once worked with the guy who wrote that line for Reese’s.

Apparently, it was nobody’s first choice. They had dozens of other concepts they liked better and thought were smarter.

But everyone on both the agency side and the client side kept coming back to “You got your chocolate on my peanut butter.”

Know what?

You can’t argue with something that sticks. Instead of over-intellectualizing it, they ran with it. They recognized it for what it was.

So, sticky is good.

It doesn’t take the place of a smart and relevant sales message. But sticky definitely make it easier for a sales message to penetrate.

There are two huge mistakes we see with regard to stickiness.

ONE: PEOPLE AREN’T WILLING TO BE STICKY

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written sticky concepts that were rejected out of fear.

For example…

I once wrote a commercial for a custom brassiere shop.

The directive was to target men. That was how the owner got women into her business: by telling the men their women needed her.

Here’s the opening of the commercial…

Hey. Is your wife home?

No?

Good.

Do this, right now.

Go to her dresser. Take out a bra. Try it on….

Whadda ya think?

Doesn’t fit real well, does it?

It’s not comfortable, it’s not flattering, it’s not something you’d wear in public.

Well, guess what: your wife doesn’t like it either. Most women have never been correctly fitted for a bra. So here’s where you win big points…

DOES ANYTHING STICK QUITE LIKE THE IMAGE OF THIS GUY TRYING ON HIS WIFE’S BRA?

And it all played directly into the message the client wanted to send: your wife needs a better bra. Get her in here.

That vision is so sticky that my wife, one of my harshest critics, has never been able to shake that commercial from her mind—and it’s over five years old.

Yet the commercial never went to air. Fear prevented it from happening.

Conversely, one of the stickiest messages we’ve ever created was almost prevented from airing because of the account rep. It mortified him.

Marvin is not a clever man.

He doesn’t have a terrific sense of humor.

You don’t want him at your next cocktail party.

In fact, you don’t ever want to see Marvin at all.

When you see Marvin, it means one thing: transmission repair.

Marvin is the original transmission geek.

He doesn’t tell good jokes, he doesn’t have much imagination.

In fact, look at the name of his company: The Trans Shop.

How creative is that? But then again, how creative does

he need to be? There is nothing creative about a

transmission. It is a cold, ugly piece of machinery.

You don’t want some guy who says, “Hey, let’s see

if we can fit this over there!”

And so on.

This commercial was insanely sticky. People talked about it. It generated tons of new business.

But upon first hearing it, it mortified the account rep. He was certain he was going to lose the account. Fortunately, his boss didn’t agree with him—and when he finally presented it, neither did the client.

Sure, AAMCO is sticky. They’re the 900-pound gorilla of transmission. Double A, BEEP BEEP, M-C-O.

All the more reason Marvin, as the dinky little chimpanzee of transmission repair, needs to be sticky. He is not top of mind. And since he wasn’t afraid to be sticky (and different and disarming and self-deprecating), he got dozens of new customers each month he was on.

BUT IT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE A COMMERCIAL!

Yes, there are advertisers who are afraid of this.

For them, there are words like, “After 17 years in business, our family-owned transmission repair shop with its fully trained professional staff is honest and trustworthy and we want a chance to prove it to you. Call us for all your transmission repair needs. We’re conveniently located at…”

OH, YEAH. THAT’S INSPIRING.

In an economy like this, can we really afford to let clients say things like “for all your FILL IN THE BLANK needs?”

How about, “For all your wasted ad budget needs.”

Now more than ever, our clients need to be aggressive and need to stick.

Ah, but how to be sticky?

Don’t use mealy mouthed, mewling ad speak phrases that don’t surprise anyone.

Be surprising.

Say things nobody expects.

Another way: be concrete.

GUY IN BRASIERRE: CONCRETE IMAGE

It’s solid and memorable.

So is a Chihuahua.

But as evidenced by Taco Bell sales during the time of the Chihuahua, it’s the wrong kind of concrete. It was an anti-sell. “Brain says food for small dogs with Mexican accents.”

Unfortunate association.

But, The Gecko is enormously concrete.

And it plays right back to the company’s name.

(We don’t even need to say the company’s name, do we?)

A GUIDE TO BEING STICKY

There’s an excellent little book by Chip & Dan Heath called, Made To Stick.

And, in a vivid example of the publisher following the book’s advice on concrete images, there’s a big piece of duct tape across the cover.

A compendium of stickiness, the brothers heath explain all kinds of ways that individuals and companies make ideas stick.

Hint: nobody uses the phrase, “For all your FILL IN THE BLANK needs.”

Highly recommended.

And I’ll stick to that.

As Always,

Blaine Parker

Your Short, Fat Creative Director in

Park City